I am a Promise!

Just sharing some of the cutest kids in the world!

Heaven Is For Real!

Book Description from the publisher:

A young boy emerges from life-saving surgery with remarkable stories of his visit to heaven.
Heaven Is for Real is the true story of the four-year old son of a small town Nebraska pastor who during emergency surgery slips from consciousness and enters heaven. He survives and begins talking about being able to look down and see the doctor operating and his dad praying in the waiting room. The family didn't know what to believe but soon the evidence was clear.
Colton said he met his miscarried sister whom no one had told him about, and his great grandfather who died 30 years before Colton was born, then shared impossible-to-know details about each. He describes the horse that only Jesus could ride, about how "reaaally big" God and his chair are, and how the Holy Spirit "shoots down power" from heaven to help us.
Told by the father but often in Colton's own words, the disarmingly simple message is heaven is a real place, Jesus really loves children, and be ready there is a coming last battle.

My Take:

Born and raised in a Baptist preacher's home, I was always taught to be skeptical of anyone's near death experience, so it was with skepticism that I approached this book. I was pleasantly surprised though. I'm the mom of a 4 year old, who like Colton, has been in church her whole life. I know what she knows about the Bible, because for the most part, I'm the one who taught her. The descriptions of Colton are far from what is contained in the preschool Sunday school curriculum. Beyond my own skeptical nature, this book is a wonderful testimony of God's love and faithfulness. It was uplifting to read. It is thought provoking and emotion invoking!

As I was curled up in bed reading, my 4 year old came in and curled up next to me and said, "Read to me, Mommy!" So, we laid in bed together reading about Colton's heavenly experiences. She loved the book which got me thinking about her imaginary friend, Inky. Could Inky be an angel or the Holy Spirit? We never know what children are able to understand in the spirit.

Check it out for yourself! I would love to hear other people's take on it!

My next book review will be Start! The Bible for New Believers. I can't wait to check this one out! Here's a sample for you!

I was provided this book for free in exchange for my review through the Thomas Nelson Booksneeze program.

Menu Planning...trying again!

I'm terrible about meal planning which means that I end up going to the grocery (WalMart) 3-4 times a week. I know...crazy! I know that if I would shop for two weeks at a time, I would save money and stress. So, here I am trying again!

I have created a list of meals... actually, I borrowed one from here and personalized it for my family. I have shared it via Google Documents for everyone. I printed out the list of meal ideas and the menu planning form from the about.com site. I'm the type of person who likes to work on the computer, but really want something in writing when it comes to menu planning, so I laminated both the meals list and the menu planning form. I have a Vis-a- Vis marker that I'm using to write  on the laminated pages, so I can wipe them clean and make new plans. I like that I can mark out meals on the list that I have used, so hopefully we can get some variety in our meals! Currently, I'm focusing on planning suppers and weekend lunches, but eventually I hope to plan breakfast lunch and supper. One thing I should have done is print the menu planner on both sides, so I could plan an entire month at a time.

Looking at my plan for the next week, I will need to go to the grocery this weekend to get bread and milk, but I can do that at our locally owned grocery or dollar store, rather than running to WalMart. We'll see how it goes!

So many thoughts...so little brain to think them...

Ready for an emotional one? It was June. The summer garden was starting to produce; the heat starting to become more oppressive by the day, when I get an email from my aunt who lives about 800 miles away. Her daughter has three children in foster care, and the social workers are talking about taking them away permanently. The state wants to know if anyone in the family would like to take them in to their home. We've been through this before with her first child. To say the least, it was ugly, lots of hurt feelings and broken relationships. I was glad to be 800 miles from the epicenter of it all, a bystander, not required to choose sides...Here we stand again though, this time, I'm in a different place in my life. I have a child close in age to the kids. I'm in a stable relationship. I'm financially secure. And the question is being asked...Will you?

After a much too brief discussion with my husband, who I was positive would say no, we agreed to take the two little girls. All this was dependent on the court's decision to end my cousin's parental rights. The little boy would go with his uncle. We just don't have room. We have 2 adult children, one living with us, one in college, and a little girl.

 At heart, I'm a planner, so my first response was, "We need bunk beds! We need money to travel 800 miles to get our new girls! We need to save all of E's clothes that she grows out of for the little one. What am I going to do about homeschooling? What about my job? Taking one little girl to work at the office is one thing, but 3? My car! How am I going to fit 3 car seats in the back of my car??? Three teenage girls? We need a gun! College??? Weddings?" LOL I know, I totally get ahead of myself sometimes. Thankfully, I have a wonderful, procrastinating and often pessimistic husband to keep me grounded. While I'm shopping for bunk beds online, he's certain of God's provision and the government agencies' lack of organization to get any thing done in a speedy manner.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, God shows Himself in the circumstances: 1)I got a letter from an organization that I had worked for over the summer that was unable to pay me. The letter said that they knew that they owed me over $1000 and that they would be paying me by November 15. Thank you God! Won't that be a wonderful Christmas bonus? Yeah, I think God had other plans, because a few days later, 2) I got a call from my aunt. Social Services wants my information, so they can start doing background checks. They have a court date and hope to be ready to be able to give us the kids in December. There is still the possibility that another chance will be given to the mom, but right now it isn't looking good for her. 3)My brother, Mike, was given a set of bunk beds. He didn't know what to do with them, but decided to keep them in case someone needed them. Isn't it amazing how God works?

My husband, the pessimist, is afraid that I'm getting too excited, that I'm going to have my heart broken if this doesn't happen. He doesn't know that if this doesn't work out, I'm thinking we should go through the foster care classes and look for other little girls that need a home. Honestly, I will be terribly devastated if something happens and we can't have them. I know my aunt is grieving right now with the possibility of having 2 grand daughters move 800 miles away. I feel for her. I can't imagine losing my child, but my heart is already in love with two little girls that I have never even met. I always thought that E would be my one and only. I thought God was done with me. Now He's opened up this possibility in my heart, and I'm afraid to believe that it could be real. That I could be mama to three little girls! Please God let the answers come quickly...I don't know if I can stand waiting!

Adventures in Booga Booga Land - Volume 1 (DVD)

 This week I'm reviewing a kids' DVD for Thomas Nelson's Booksneeze program.

The introduction episode introduces us to  the Marty the monkey and Gerard the Giraffe. Each adventure relates to the parables of Jesus. Episode 1 conveys the parable of The Workers in the Vineyard with its story of how Marty and Gerard get a job  and learns that the boss, Stan, can be generous to others who don't deserve it. Episodes 2 portrays Marty and Gerard as the Wise and Foolish Builders.  The final episode,  The Lamp under The Bowl, features our heroes building a lighthouse and keeping it lit.  These stories are appropriate for early elementary aged children.

I watched the DVD with my 4 year old daughter. Personally, it lacked substance for me, but she loved it. The animation and silly situational comedy reminded me of several cartoons that come on the kids channels that contain such questionable material...think cellulose in pants. There were instances of minor violence, Marty's improper use of power tools and Gerard's using dynamite to explode the rocks, but over all it was nothing compared to what is found on TV. I didn't find it offensive, but then I don't leave power tools laying around for my daughter to find. 

The lighthouse episode totally lost me. It was unclear what the light was that Marty and Gerard were catching in the bottles that eventually provided light for the lighthouse.

Overall, my child loved it. She watched it over and over again which is honestly the true test of a good kids DVD.

I was provided this DVD for free in exchange for my review through the Thomas Nelson Booksneeze program.

Roasted Vegetables...my version

Had someone told me that I was going to be loving eggplant, mushrooms, zucchini and squash this time last year, I would have laughed at them. But one of the advantages of being on WW's is that you learn to try new foods that you would have thumbed your nose at before. 

While shopping at one of my favorite health food stores, I decided to try something new, their Roasted Veggie Sandwich with Havarti. Being the good WWer that I am, I quizzed the lady at the counter about the contents of the sandwich. Mayo? No, Veginaise. How much? 1 teaspoon or less. Oil? A small amount of olive oil to roast the vegetables. How much cheese? one slice. All the while I'm calculating points in my head...Bread 3, Cheese 2-3, Veginaise 1, veggies 1. The sandwich was excellent! So much so, that the next time I was in the store I saw that they sell just the veggies all roasted up by the pound! I contemplated buying some until I saw the price $8/lb!! Wow! So, I decided that I would attempt making my own. This is what I came up with: Yummy!

Roasted Veggies

POINTS® Value:    1 Servings:  5 Preparation Time:  20 min Cooking Time:  60 min Level of Difficulty:  Easy Course: side dishes

Add and subtract vegetables based on your personal taste. The balsamic vinegar adds a sweet and tangy note to the roasted vegetables. A serving is about 1 cup.

Ingredients

	3 cup(s) cooked eggplant
	1 cup(s) cooked zucchini
	1 cup(s) cooked summer squash
	1 item(s) bell pepper(s), chopped
	1 cup(s) cooked onions
	1 Tbsp olive oil
	1 cup(s) cooked mushroom pieces
	1/3 cup(s) balsamic vinegar
	1 tsp table salt
	1 tsp black pepper
	1 cup(s) cooked chayote fruit

Instructions

toss all veggies in vinegar and oil. Salt and pepper to taste. Roast covered at 350 in a 9x13 pan for one hour or until veggies are fork tender and onions are fully cooked.
Serve hot or cold.
This can also be made into a sandwich on whole wheat bread and Havarti cheese.

Starting over...

Well, I've updated my weight on MyFitnessPal.com and decided to start over. One of the things that I loved about WW's was the online food journal. Since I'm not a member, I can't use their site any more, but MyFitnessPal.com (which is free) allows me to keep a journal. This site has calorie info which is great, but also carbs and protein info which is very important for the Insulin Resistant Diet. There is a place to keep exercise info too. Here's my day:

September 27, 2010

Foods	Calories	Carbs	Fat	Protein	Cholest	Sodium	Sugars	Fiber
Breakfast
Cream - Half and half, 2 tbsp	39	1g	3g	1g	11mg	12mg	0g	0g
Sugars - Granulated (sucrose), 2 tsp	33	8g	0g	0g	0mg	0mg	8g	0g
Egg - Large Egg/ 2 Points, 2 Egg	140	1g	10g	12g	424mg	140mg	0g	0g
Lunch
Hillshire Farm - Deli Select Smoked Ham, 6 slices	60	2g	2g	9g	30mg	670mg	1g	0g
Kraft Deli Fresh Slices-Revised - 2% Swiss Cheese, 1 slice	70	0g	5g	6g	15mg	50mg	0g	0g
Natures Own Whitewheat Bread - Sandwich Bread, 2 slices	100	23g	1g	5g	0mg	230mg	3g	4g
Doritos - Tortilla Chips, 11 each	150	17g	8g	2g	0mg	180mg	1g	1g
Cheetos - Cheetos Crunchy - Small Bag, 0.5 Package	80	8g	5g	1g	3mg	145mg	1g	1g
Blue Plate Mayo - Real Mayonnaise, 0.5 Tablespoon	50	0g	6g	0g	5mg	40mg	0g	0g
Dinner
Beef - Sirloin Steak , 6 oz	375	0g	8g	56g	150mg	168mg	0g	0g
Potatoes - Russet, flesh and skin, baked, 0.5 potato medium (2-1/4" to 3-1/4" dia)	84	19g	0g	2g	0mg	7mg	1g	2g
Laughing Cow - Light Original Swiss, 2 Wedge	70	2g	4g	5g	20mg	520mg	2g	0g
Butternut Squash - Roasted, No Salt, No Fat Added, 0.5 cup, cubed (140 g)	41	11g	0g	1g	0mg	4mg	2g	2g
Sugars - Brown, 1 tsp packed packed	17	4g	0g	0g	0mg	2mg	4g	0g
Snacks
Nabisco - Ritz Crackers--Original, 10 crackers	160	6g	9g	2g	0mg	270mg	2g	0g
Slim Jim - Small Snack, 8 grams/0.28ozs.	40	1g	4g	2g	5mg	123mg	0g	0g
Philadelphia Cream Cheese - Cream Cheese 1/3 Less Fat, 2 tbsp (31g)	70	2g	6g	2g	20mg	140mg	2g	0g
Stonewall Kitchen - Hot Pepper Jelly, 1 TBSP	35	9g	0g	0g	0mg	5mg	8g	0g
Blue Bunny - Bunny Tracks Ice Cream, 1/2 cup	170	18g	10g	2g	20mg	55mg	13g	0g
TOTAL:	1,784	132g	81g	108g	703mg	2,761mg	48g	10g

Exercises	Calories	Minutes	Sets	Reps	Weight
Cardiovascular
Walking, 2.0 mph, slow pace	313	60
TOTALS:	313	60	0	0	0

I did go over on my calorie count, but I did pretty well on my linking and balancing. What is missing? VEGGIES!!! I know! I need to focus on increasing my fruit and vegetable intake. That takes planning and prep work. So, that is my assignment for myself...more fresh fruits and veggies.

Today was a great day over all. The weather has cooled off and is lovely. My daughter and I decided to have a picnic at our local state park. We had a great time playing on Lake Pontchartrain's beach and walking around the park grounds. I did forget the sunscreen, so both of us are a little pink tonight. Walking in sand is a great way to work out those legs though. It was really lovely. This is what life should be...spending time with family and enjoying the beautiful world God has given us!

Next >>

Have you ever used the Next >> link at the top of Blogger blogs? It can be quite informative! I did it today on my own blog which as many of you know is mainly about weight loss and my life. So, what did Blogger deem appropriate to follow my blog? See for yourself...

LOL, Yup! The Foodhoe Files! Yum! Now I want steak wrapped in bacon and slathered with herb butter!

Weight Loss/Gain Update

Ok, so, I've fallen off the weight loss wagon and am having a terrible time getting back on board. It all started with a plateau back in April/May. I got stuck. Ok, I got tired of fighting the battle. I got tired of telling my flesh, "No!" I was just tired. In June, my WW leader attended a spiritual retreat and came back feeling that God wanted her to quit leading WW's. This did not help my desire to give-up on WW's. I have spent over a year and $640 in membership fees at WW's. I was tired of it all. So, when my leader quit, I quit. Sure, she and I promised to keep in touch, continue to encourage one another, and check-in...It hasn't happened. She went back to school and I got busy with life in general.

So, I have blown it lately. I have gained 15lbs. and stopped exercising. In my defense, it is really hot down here in Louisiana and I have been battling with my asthma lately. Honestly, it is no excuse. I know how much chocolate has passed through my lips lately. I know how many times I could have picked up the free weights and worked out. I also know that it wouldn't kill me to walk around the block a few times.

So, here I am confessing to you all. I don't have the money to do WW's any more. My doctor told me that I really need to be doing The Insulin Resistance Diet instead. I have bought the book and read most of it, but I'm having trouble with starting it. Part of me feels like if I flunked out of WW's, how can I expect that I will ever succeed at the IR diet? Anyway, I'm going to do it. I think that I need to pull out the log book though and keep tabs on just what I eat too. I need some accountability in this area.

I have searched for blogs and info about it, but am not finding much. 3FatChicks has a HUGE forum post about it, but I'm way too ADHD to read the whole thing.
Anyone tried the Insulin Resistance Diet?

What God Really Thinks of Women

Standing in the book section of my local Wal-Mart, I'm browsing through the selection of Christian literature. As nursery director, I spend most Sunday services in the nursery. I love doing nursery since my child is in there, but miss out on hearing God's word in the service. I was really excited to hear that our church was starting a new women's Bible Study only to find out that it was scheduled on a day that I have to work (at the church), so I can't attend. Our Tuesday night Bible study has been put on hold, because several members are not able to attend. So, my heart went searching for God's word and came across What God Really Thinks of Women by Sharon Jaynes.

It starts off with a discussion of what the world thinks of women. The author gives an in depth account of the history of the Bible and how women were viewed. As I was reading the introductory chapters, I just had to share the quotes from Aristotle, Socrates and Plato with my husband! We had a good chuckle about the male chauvinistic ideals of the past.  The pharisees of the Jesus' day prayed everyday, thanking God that they had not been born a woman! Wow! How must that have made their wives feel?  My husband, even if he had these thoughts, knows better than to say them aloud.

 Sharon Jaynes is a true storyteller! I loved the way she made the reader step into the world of each of the women that Jesus spent time with. Being able to experience Mary Magdalene's face-to-face encounter with our Risen Lord at the tomb brought new understanding of how Christ loves me personally.

As the daughter of a retired pastor, raised in a church where women were to be seen and not heard (except from the children's ministry wing, the insights in this book have given me a new outlook on where God wants me to be in my future ministry.

What are you reading currently? How is God speaking to you?

I blew it today!

Yup, I tried to be so good, but temptation got the best of me.  I started out with my healthy oatmeal with ground flax, brown sugar and almond butter. Good stuff! When mid-morning came, I grabbed the 0 point Progresso soup which I ate the whole can, so that comes out to be 1.5 points. At lunch time, I grabbed a yummy spinach salad with grilled chicken that I had made the day before.

So, you ask with all these healthy choices, how could my day have turned south so quickly? It started with my child handing me half of a Little Debbie brownie. Well, there was the trip to Wal-Mart. Someone had put peanut butter M&M's right on the end of the register for me to grab! And was it the small bag that would have limited my intake? No, it was the big bag. These are a total target food for me and I should have never picked them up. But I did.

Then I stopped at Starbucks for a tall nonfat mocha which is still 3 points. Then my dear child, who has been sick asked me to get her a cheeseburger. So, a dash through the Burger King drive through and 2 Whopper Jr's with cheese "magically" appear. One for her and one for me! 10 points right there. I should have just gotten her the cheeseburger, because she flipped out that there was "salad" on her cheeseburger.

Something also, got into my head that said, make apple dumplings for supper? What???? What was I thinking? So, anyway, I burned up all my weekly points today, and am hoping that tomorrow will be a better day!

How can I teach my child healthy habits when I'm scarfing down peanut butter M&M's?

Finding Peace In The Midst Of The Storm

A friend asked me to write on this topic for her. I decided that I would post it on my blog for others struggling with the storms of life:

Hmmmm...my first thought is that Peace is not something that you find. It is something that you either have or don't. Our peace comes from Christ, the knowledge that no matter what is happening around us at the moment, God is still on His throne. He is in control and knows the best for us.

We live in a temporary world, but because our spirits are eternal, we confuse what is happening today with the eternal. We think that there is nothing in this world that is eternal except the gospel of Christ, but we as humans living in a temporary world are hardwired for the eternal. We think that the problem we face today is so terrible that we can't go on, but don't realize the problem is temporary.

My peace comes from the fact that I am not alone in my suffering and problems. And nothing that I am experiencing is new. Everything that is happening in my life has happened to others before me.
Hebrews 12:1-2 -  “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.”

My faith and actions determine what will happen next. I can allow my life to thrive in Christ or I can be destroyed by Satan. It is my choice. Yet even when I mess up and don't make the right decisions, God is able to work that out too.

All things work together for the good of those that love the Lord and are called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

God knows your name. He knows who and what you are and He loves you anyway. That is the peace. He wants what is best for you. That brings peace. His hand is always open to you. His desire is for your best. Jeremiah 29:11. If only we will take His hand, He will lead us through the storm. That is true peace.

Quit fighting Him. Release the strongholds that are surrounding you. Free yourself to worship Him in a way that you have never done before. All He wants is for you to love Him as much as He loves you. He wants your praise and adoration. You have to completely give Him your all. You have to lay down your life, your illness, your panic attacks, your desires to Him. You have to ask Him to heal you completely, then accept that He has done it and never concern yourself with it again. All too often, we ask for healing. We pray fervent prayers asking God to take away our suffering. Then, we walk away from the  altar with one eye looking back at what we asked to be healed of. We pray and then walk away thinking, "sure hope that worked." That is not faith. God doesn't work like that. We have to believe it. COMPLETELY. Give your life fully to Him and watch what He can do.

Over a year ago, I asked God to heal me of my obesity. I believe that God could have gone zap! and the excess weight would have fallen to the floor, but He didn't. I believe that God is doing a work in my life that takes time. He is molding and shaping my mind as He molds my body. He is teaching me obedience through this experience. Do I believe that God is answering my prayer? Absolutely! Do I believe that God even cares if I weigh 150 lbs or 339lbs? Absolutely! He cares because He loves me. If it matters to me, it matters to God. I am His child and just as my heart breaks when I see Ellie cry, God's heart breaks when I cry. That is where my peace comes from. From knowing that God loves me so much that He will not let any thing happen to me that I can not handle. No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. 1 Cor. 10:13

May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thess. 5:23

I'm a Loser!

Yup another loss! I didn't need the Post It note after all! I lost 1.6 lbs this week. I had even told my leader the whole bit about steroids and antibiotics.  I'm thrilled.

The meeting was good. We talked about avoiding boredom in both what we eat and how we move. There were lots of great ideas this meeting!

Food finds to try: Quaker Oats True Delights Blueberry Multigrain Crisps,  Whole Grain Couscous, Thomas Bagel Thins, cheddar popcorn seasoning and Pirates Booty Popcorn

Exercise ideas to try: Geocaching, WW's 5K Challenge (starting in April), check into classes offered at our local park.

Any other ideas that I should try? What ideas can you guys come up with?

Thanks to Sarahnaut on Flickr.com for the use of her photo!

Post It Note Tuesday

Friday, I ended up in the doctor's office with a sinus infection. Not only a sinus infection, but also my asthma. I haven't had a problem with my asthma in ages, so the asthma really took me by surprise. Anyway, the doctor prescribed me an inhaler, inhaled steroids, an antibiotic and steroid pills. I have heard from other WWers that the antibiotics and steroids can  mess up weight loss. So, here's my post it....

Down .4 Pounds

Yup, even though my scale at home said I had gained 2 lbs, the WW scale smiled upon me and said I was down .4 lbs! WooHoo!!!

We had a great meeting today about making our kitchens WW friendly. Have I mentioned how much I love my new leader? She is great! Very down to earth and loves interaction from members! Sad news today, Emilee, one of our newest Lifetimers is moving to Alabama. Her 87lb weight loss is such an inspiration to me. She was always full of new recipes and food finds. She will be missed.

I found a new blog to share with you all. Big Bottom Blogger ROCKS! Any woman that is willing to photo her booty and post it on her blog gets my vote for "blogger who bares their soul." And I love this quote from her blog, "Each day....I will work on overcoming my addiction to food and indolence.  You can cheer for me if you want...but don't put me up on a pedestel for crying out loud!!!  It is lonely up there....and is such a far way to fall!  From now on...I want to be on terra firma with everyone else who struggles with this journey on a day to day basis.  Deal?" Check her out!

Success! and Clean Eating

Stuck in Plateau-ville and growing frustrated, NO More! My leader suggested that I stop eating the WW bars, FiberPlus bars and other packaged foods for a week and see if that helped.

I did. I focused on "clean eating" for one week and am happy to report that it worked! I lost 4.4lbs even though we ate out 4 times last week! I still picked carefully on the menus, but WOW!

Maybe those health nuts who eat almond butter and oatmeal and fresh fruit and veggies actually do know what they are talking about? I'm trying it again this week and we will see what happens!

I even picked up "The Clean Eating Diet" book at Wal-Mart to get some new ideas. Still counting points though...WW has helped me lose over 50lbs, so I'm not giving that up either!

They also have a clean eating magazine that I'm going to check out!

Anyone else do the clean eating thing?


Thanks to Let Ideas Compete on Flickr.com for the photo!

Meal Planning Monday

Since I have been struggling with this plateau, I have been asking myself what was I doing before that I have not been doing lately. One of the things is menu planning. So, I was hanging out in the blog-o-sphere today and came across this super cute  monthly menu calendar at Controlling my Chaos. After spending a few minutes working with it in Photoshop, I have come up with my menu for the rest of the month. I challenged myself for the remainder of February to eat out of the freezer with the exception of milk, bread and fresh veggies. I'm planning on socking away the savings from grocery trips to try and do a big once a month shopping trip to cut the budget as well as my waistline!

What are you doing to save money and calories?

Offically in Plateauville

Well...it is official, I have hit a plateau. 10 weeks with plus or minus 2 lb weight gain/loss. My leader, Heather (AKA the world's greatest WW leader...my title for her), noticed that I was extra emotional during the meeting. She stopped me to find out what was up after the meeting. I told her I was frustrated, because I wasn't going any where lately. She looked at my book and declared...yup, I'm in Plateauville. Interestingly enough, my old leader showed up at our meeting this week too.

So, what to do? Heather suggested that I cut out all empty calories like the FiberPlus  and WW's bars and focus on "real" food. My old leader grabbed a WW's TurnAround Eating Guide and suggested that I focus on higher protein. So, I'm trying their suggestions.

My husband suggested that I up my exercise, but since I'm nursing a cold this week that is not happening.

I'm also wondering if the emotions might be due to PMS. Since I don't have regular periods, it is hard to know if or when one will happen. Lately, they have been coming more regular, twice within what would be considered a normal time frame. So, if it is going to show up on time...it could happen in the next few days and that would explain my emotions...then again, it may not happen... Oh, well....

Well, here is what I'm holding on to in the mean time... This was my family Christmas 2008. And here is my family Superbowl Sunday 2010...

Losing it again!

I can officially say that I have earned my 50lb weight back! Total WW loss is 50.8 lbs. Total loss 80lbs! I am thrilled! I weigh less now than I weighed in high school!

Well, I did go to the doctor about my knee. As it happens, my knee was feeling fine when I went, but I did tell her how it was feeling. She did a though exam, was able to hear the grinding noise. She was concerned about my weight loss, but I assured her that it was intentional. Strangely enough, she acted like she was surprised that a person could lose 80 lbs in a year's time. She did blood tests for both my insulin resistance and arthritis. The blood work came back great except for the sed rate was too high (35). Based on my sed rate, she did some further testing that came back ok.

My insulin level which was 29 two years ago is now 10.2! My A1C was 5.2 which is well within normal levels.

Anyway, she didn't have any suggestions for my knee other than take Naproxy Sodium or Ibuprofen. Oh well...

Another gain, will this ever stop?

Yup, after hitting my 50lb loss, I have gained 3 lbs of it back. I know I haven't been totally behaving myself, but still it is frustrating since I have really kicked up the exercise routine in the past couple of weeks. But I will not quit! Onward, I go!

Another disappointment this week is the 5K that I signed up for on Saturday. I signed up with my sister and a friend, but the weather has turned dangerously cold and is not expected to ease up until after Sunday. So, it looks like my group is not going to participate.

I also found out today that I have degenerative arthritis in my right knee and possibly a torn ligament. The doctor didn't seem concerned about it and told me that while I shouldn't run, walking the 5K would be fine. Since I have been running recently as part of the Wii Active 30 day challenge, I may have been causing more damage to my knee. She gave me some exercises to work on to build the strength in my legs. I'm hoping to get this knee out of pain, so I can do another 5K soon.

Frustrated and Going to the Doctor

I am so frustrated with my TMJ and knee that I finally broke down and scheduled an appointment for Thursday. My knee has been bothering me for about a year or so now. I never went to the doctor before about it because:

1. I'm a chicken
2. I didn't want to hear, "Well, if you weren't 339 lbs., your knee would feel better." 
3. Last time I complained about my knee, the doctor gave me a big old shot right in the joint...that was about 15 or more years ago...did I mention that I'm a chicken?
4. My general practice doctor, a woman who I loved, moved to another city about 2 hours away last April and I got a great letter from the clinic stating that my doctor was no longer with the practice and that I was going to have to see a male doctor that I don't know...did I mention that I don't like change?

So, here I am at 259ish and about to walk a 5K in a couple of weeks. I have majorly kicked up that exercise program recently in preparation and just can't ignore the pain and sounds that my knee is making.  So, yeah, I might hear, "Lose weight" when I go. I may have to deal with a shot. I know I have to deal with a new doctor, but I'm doing it.

I'm also going to discuss my TMJ. I don't care what they have to do to help me with my TMJ, but something has to be done. I first found out that I had TMJ a couple of years ago and was prescribed a muscle relaxer and Naproxen. I ran out of drugs about 5 months ago and haven't really needed any thing more than ibuprofen. I do yoga to relieve stress, eat soft food, avoid overusing my jaw and taking OTC meds. I gave up singing because of the pain, then was asked if I would sing for the church's Christmas program...I agreed and have been in pain ever since. Something needs to be done!

So, I'm off to the doctor on Thursday, scared that I'm going to have to defend my weight, scared that I won't like this new doctor and basically just frustrated about losing my old doctor. It is no wonder that obese people don't go to their doctor? I think that I'm more afraid of going now than when I was blissfully oblivious to my obesity. So, do I let them know that I have lost 80lbs in the past year? Or should I call my old clinic and ask them to send my file over? I don't know what to expect and that scares me.