Two weeks ago, I went to the doctor for my annual check-up. I am very consistent about those since I have PCOS and need a prescription for my Metformin and Prometrium. During the breast exam, she found a lump. She assured me that it was probably just a cyst, but to be sure she was going to have me do an ultrasound and mammogram. I have had a couple of mammograms since I turned 40. They are no big deal. When I left the office, I scheduled the mammo and ultrasound for the first available which was a week later.
I pretty much was sure by the time that I walked into the imaging center that this was a cyst and that since I started taking the Prometrium it was shrinking. This was going to be a breeze...at worst, they will want to stick a needle in it to remove the fluid....at best, it would go away on its own and life would go on. The mammo went as they normally do. Polite conversation between me and the tech. We talked about the fact that both of us had taken Clomid. Mine worked the first time, hers did not work at all.We talked about the weather. She finished up and sent me to wait for the ultrasound.
|Do you see the cow jumping over a rock?|
A few minutes pass and the doctor and tech come in to talk to me. He introduces himself and says that he has looked at my scans from today and from a year ago. He says that there was no indication of a problem a year ago, but now there is something there. He tells me that he is going to call my doctor and let her know and that she will probably set me up with a biopsy within the next week. They asked me if I was okay several times and if I had any questions. I asked them how big it was. I told them that God was in control of this, that He has a plan for me and that it would be okay. They gave me a file with my scans in it to take to the surgeon and told me that they hoped this all worked out for me. I got dressed and took my file and left. I text messaged my sister and told her, called my mom to see if she would watch my daughter when I had my biopsy.
When my doctor called, she told me what the radiologist had already told me. She gave me the names and numbers of a couple of general surgeons and then said, "Good luck with all this." Good luck? Oy!
My appointment with the surgeon is Friday, February 3rd, so I have a whole week to make myself crazy over all of this. Which I have done successfully! I have told a couple of friends and asked them to pray with me about it. Most say the exact same thing, "Oh, it is probably just a cyst! I get them all the time!" Then when I say that they ruled out it being a cyst. They sullen and agree to pray with me.
I don't know the future. I don't know what all this will mean, but I know that I am not going to go down without a fight. If this is cancer, I will do everything in my power to beat it. I don't care if it means losing a breast or my hair. What is important is that little girl in that picture. She is my only child and I love her more that words can express. While I know that a diagnosis will be hard on the adults in my family, they would move on, but that little girl needs a mother. I will fight for her.