Breakfast today was one scrambled egg with low fat cheese and mustard on an Orowhet Sandwich Thin - 4 points.
I'm feeling all weird and emotional today. My breasts hurt and I'm crampy. Sometimes I hate being a woman! I got all emotional when my WW leader asked about setting a new goal even though I had already set one for myself. Something about putting it down in their system freaked me out. I told her that I wanted to go for another 10%, but really I want to hit 250 pounds which is about 2 lbs. less than the 10%. Not that 2 lbs. makes a huge difference.
I'm under 275 lbs. Do you know how hard it is to admit that knowing that a couple of my friends in real life read my blog? (Love you Lynn and Nancy) I haven't been here in over five years! Wow! I don't really feel different yet. My knee isn't bothering me as much as it did a year ago, but then again I don't have to carry a 30lb. kid up the stairs twice a week at work. My clothes are much looser and some don't fit at all, but I don't have the tons of energy that people claim they have when they lose 65lbs.
I'm still very bothered by complements about my weight loss. I post my success and failures on Facebook and this blog. I have tons of folks rooting for me, but it really makes me uncomfortable. Is it a fear of failure or just a feeling of not being worthy? Sometimes when I read their complements, I feel like they are saying, "Yeah, if you hadn't hit the drive thru so often, you wouldn't need to lose weight." Or, "Whoopee for you! Ya fat slob!"
Complements from my pastor are the worst! He is thin, never had to deal with this struggle, so I don't know that he totally understands what it is like. It really bugs me when he comments on it. I know his wife understands. She did WW for 9 months. She and I never really talked about it until today. I don't know why I didn't feel like I could talk to her about it.
Do you sometimes feel like you don't want people complementing you on your success? Do you feel like you can't talk to someone who has been down the road that you are now traveling and who has succeeded? How do you deal with complements?
First of all, congrats on being under 275! You are doing awesome! It is hard for me to take compliments too...I don't know why though? I guess I just don't think that good of myself, so when someone else says something good, I have to tell them they are wrong. So stupid...I know! :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jessica! I hate it when I do that too!
ReplyDeleteI didn't want people to say anything about my weight loss, because I was afraid that I would gain it back. So I would laugh off the comments, etc.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on going under 275. You should be really proud of yourself!! Keep up the good work.
Wow--I have been really relating to alot of what you are saying in your blog. I have been overweight for most of my life. Now having lost so much weight, it is so hard to accept compliments because I still see the "fat girl" in the mirror. I know that I look better and I do feel so much better, but I still can't get the mental picture of who I used to be out of my head.
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