Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I'm not a second class citizen!

I woke up to one of my strange dreams this morning. I was back in high school getting another degree. I know it doesn't make sense, but it was a dream. Anyway, I'm back at my old high school, but living in an apartment. One of my old teachers, who gave me a hard time in high school, walks into my apartment with "proof" that my parents and my family including me are worthless people. Evidently, my parents' name was put in the local paper as owing money to someone, but it was a mistake. This teacher, I'll call him Frank, was going on and on about how I'm worthless and he has proof. My friend, Karen, was there and she wasn't saying anything, but I was embarrassed because she was hearing him go on and on about this. So, I got mad and started yelling back at him. I told him that I was not a second class citizen and if he wanted to discuss this with me we would do so in his office, not my apartment. We start heading out the door and through the grocery store where I evidently lived in the back of for some reason. Only this grocery store was very different. It had wooden slats for the floor so when customers walked across the floor it made music. Well, I was chasing Frank out of the store and making a ton of noise, so one of the managers was yelling at me to slow down. I finally get out of the store and head to my car where I see a man trying to break into the backdoor. He doesn't hear me come up so I stomp on his hand which had a toy gun in it and scream, "I'm not a second class citizen!"

Anyone care to interpret that for me? I think that several issues in my life has always made me feel like I was a second class citizen: my weight, my financial stupidity, my working class upbringing. I have always felt like I wasn't deserving of praise or admiration. I felt like I would always be less of a person than other people. I'm not a second class citizen though. God doesn't view me as one and neither should I.

Lost 2.6 this week! WooHoo! I was really surprised, because I only got to exercise once this week and overall it has been a rough week. I just never know with my body. Does that mean that I should not exercise and overeat every week? Yeah! I mean no. My body is probably catching up from the exercise that I did the week before when I didn't lose anything. I'm just happy to have lost this week.


  1. I am very pleased with the progress that you have made and you are looking very good! I think that as far as the dream is concerned that perhaps your mind is having a little trouble processing your success (subconcience) and so in your dreams is bring up old rememberences that have made you feel downtreddened in the far a being a second class citizien I think that you pegged that right in that you have never felt quite good enough.......BOTTOM are exactly what God made you to be and you are som much more talanted and gifted than even you give yourself credit for being! Your first class all the way babe!