TrueFriendship None of that Sissy Cr@p

Are you tired of those sissy 'friendship' poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.

• When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew.
• When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
• When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.
• When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
• When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining.
• When you are confused -- I will use little words.
• When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well Again. I don't want whatever the heck you have.
• When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy behind....This is actually what people do to me.

This is my oath.... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'. Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it, But only you can feel the true warmth..