5 things I wish people wouldn't ask about foster kids....

1.  Are all those your kids? Yes, they are all mine. Just like the students in my classroom were my kids for the time that they were in my class, these kids are mine. I may not have given birth to them, but I love them like my daughter to which I did give birth.
2. What did their parents do to have these kids come to live with you? My nice answer is that the parents have some issues to work on. But I can't tell you the details. The details of their case is protected under the law. Often I am not given a full account of why they were taken away. Social workers paint the case with broad strokes. Drugs, violence, abuse, neglect, mental illness and sexual abuse are all reasons for kids to be taken out from their biological parents. Often it is not just one of these reasons, but a laundry list of issues. 
3. How long are they going to be with you? We don't know that. Some kids stay a month or two. Other kids will be with us for a year. It all depends of their family, the social workers, CASA workers, attorneys, and judge.
4. Don't they have relatives who could take them? Why aren't they with a family member? The process for a family member to take them into care is similar to what my husband and I did to become foster parents. It is not automatic that if the biological parents are unfit, that the children will go to the biological grandparents or aunts and uncles. Often there is no one in the biological family willing or able to take care of the children. In any case, the family members must attend classes, fill out a ton of paperwork, be fingerprinted, and have their home inspected before they can have the children come to live with them. 
5. Are you going to adopt them? Please don't ask this in front of the children. Yes, we want to provide a forever home for a child, but we are foster parents first. The parents have a year or longer to get the kids back, so my husband and I are not even contemplating adoption until we know for sure that the children will be open for adoption. We don't want to break their hearts by making promises that we don't know that we can keep. There are lots of factors to consider when adopting. When it is right and we know that we are going to adopt, we will announce it. Until then, we aren't going to discuss it.

So many thoughts...so little brain to think them...

Ready for an emotional one? It was June. The summer garden was starting to produce; the heat starting to become more oppressive by the day, when I get an email from my aunt who lives about 800 miles away. Her daughter has three children in foster care, and the social workers are talking about taking them away permanently. The state wants to know if anyone in the family would like to take them in to their home. We've been through this before with her first child. To say the least, it was ugly, lots of hurt feelings and broken relationships. I was glad to be 800 miles from the epicenter of it all, a bystander, not required to choose sides...Here we stand again though, this time, I'm in a different place in my life. I have a child close in age to the kids. I'm in a stable relationship. I'm financially secure. And the question is being asked...Will you?

After a much too brief discussion with my husband, who I was positive would say no, we agreed to take the two little girls. All this was dependent on the court's decision to end my cousin's parental rights. The little boy would go with his uncle. We just don't have room. We have 2 adult children, one living with us, one in college, and a little girl.

 At heart, I'm a planner, so my first response was, "We need bunk beds! We need money to travel 800 miles to get our new girls! We need to save all of E's clothes that she grows out of for the little one. What am I going to do about homeschooling? What about my job? Taking one little girl to work at the office is one thing, but 3? My car! How am I going to fit 3 car seats in the back of my car??? Three teenage girls? We need a gun! College??? Weddings?" LOL I know, I totally get ahead of myself sometimes. Thankfully, I have a wonderful, procrastinating and often pessimistic husband to keep me grounded. While I'm shopping for bunk beds online, he's certain of God's provision and the government agencies' lack of organization to get any thing done in a speedy manner.

Fast forward to 3 weeks ago, God shows Himself in the circumstances: 1)I got a letter from an organization that I had worked for over the summer that was unable to pay me. The letter said that they knew that they owed me over $1000 and that they would be paying me by November 15. Thank you God! Won't that be a wonderful Christmas bonus? Yeah, I think God had other plans, because a few days later, 2) I got a call from my aunt. Social Services wants my information, so they can start doing background checks. They have a court date and hope to be ready to be able to give us the kids in December. There is still the possibility that another chance will be given to the mom, but right now it isn't looking good for her. 3)My brother, Mike, was given a set of bunk beds. He didn't know what to do with them, but decided to keep them in case someone needed them. Isn't it amazing how God works?

My husband, the pessimist, is afraid that I'm getting too excited, that I'm going to have my heart broken if this doesn't happen. He doesn't know that if this doesn't work out, I'm thinking we should go through the foster care classes and look for other little girls that need a home. Honestly, I will be terribly devastated if something happens and we can't have them. I know my aunt is grieving right now with the possibility of having 2 grand daughters move 800 miles away. I feel for her. I can't imagine losing my child, but my heart is already in love with two little girls that I have never even met. I always thought that E would be my one and only. I thought God was done with me. Now He's opened up this possibility in my heart, and I'm afraid to believe that it could be real. That I could be mama to three little girls! Please God let the answers come quickly...I don't know if I can stand waiting!